Marilyn

New faces,
Open spaces,
Can I, rape you?
Can I, take you?
In an hour of,
Sour dandelions
Sweet daffodils that,
Remind me, to kill
Whatever part of me that, stood still
The part that hesitated
Wasted
Faced with a choice
There was a, decision
Should have just been, a chemical reaction
A muscle contraction,
But no, from I -- there was, hesitation
This haste obvious waste
You taste,
Putird-yellow-green
And I've seen, to much
To easily to rush
And forgive you
Two times
A third and should have learned by the fourth
My patience is north
And its, long run thin,
Run out
And now I've run in,
To a wall
I'm sure its, been a ball
But your fun is
Not for two
Should have known you
Would let me,
Let us, down,
Frown, you smile upside down
I've been around and around
Found no hope in you
We can't be three, not even two
Want, no need, to start a new,
Life
But, I'm afraid that
Because of you
I'm sure I've mixed up, right from wrong
Your song
Gone on for, more than, eighteen years,
And its been far to long
Just not right that you taught,
Taught me, so wrong
That there are blind sight
Perverse cities
Lodged in my mind
And no I can't find
A weak point,
A breaking point
The foundations
Are formed with my, mental retardations
And it's because of you
I will not, know love,
Have love
Even were it to attack me head on
I'm a resident to a big city,
Where I do not, want, to belong
Wrong, what else is there to say but, wrong
Why can't you see, that it would be,
Best for you to be gone
I'm lost in this sea,
Of, neck deep needs
Weeds and no grass
Pass on help, cause I know,
It wouldn't last
You've made my past a waste
Netsled in the comfort of your destruction and distaste
Growth reduction
What are these useless functions
The junctions form at, half passed dead
Oozing blood red
I wish I could, peel back the skin
And not let the,
Nerve ending
Chemical renderings
Seep to deep, in
And I can't decide which is worse
My loss, or
The sudden out burst
Of hatred for my mother
You see because,
If she was -- never knew she was there
There was only this, angonizing tare
Under my skin, through the muscles
Reached the bone and snapped like wood
And this is no way to learn,
How I don't want to be
I see the lessons
Yet I'm not sure it's worth all this aggression
But what I do have is growth and realization
That I don't want to be,
How she --
Is